The Tumblies: The Tumblr Awards
by Tyler Coates
Tumblr! It's the greatest blogging site of our generation! It's made up of so many different people from different backgrounds and cities, with different opinions! (The majority, of course, are young, urban, liberal white people who love graphic design, Mad Men, and Robert Downey, Jr.)
Tumblr, once heralded as the blogging platform for busy people, quickly turned into the LiveJournal of 2008: it's a blog software pretending to be a social networking site, where you can collect followers and re-blog glory, and everyone is aiming for a spot on the Tumblr Radar. Forget YouTube: with the power of the re-blog, Internet "fame" can happen much quicker, albeit to a smaller audience. On Tumblr, nearly everyone can have their proverbial fifteen minutes of fame (which, on the Internet, amounts to 24 hours at best).
In the olden days of blogging, you had to put forth the effort to link to someone else. Nowadays, with push-button publishing, Tumblr makes it easy to participate in a meme, a feud, a controversy. On any given day the Tumblr Dashboard reads like a message board: people chime in and give their two-cents, responding to whatever "scandal" is on everyone's minds. And that's why we want to reward those special individuals who spend hours upon hours entertaining each other and, more importantly, us.
So if you're someone who checks your Tumblr dashboard several times an hour for any new re-blogs, enjoys a lot of inside jokes about the Tumblelogs you follow, AND loves award shows (think of the following as the Tumblr version of Bravo's A-List Awards, only Kathy Griffin is not around and, sadly, Joel McHale was not available to host the show in front of a green screen), we now present THE TUMBLIES.
THE 2008 TUMBLIES, PRESENTED BY THIS RECORDING
Most likely to refer to herself in the third person: AntiKris
Most likely to overshare: The Ch!cktionary
Most confusing: Young Manhattanite
Most likely to get you fired from your job: mathew loves the internet (generally NSFW)
Most likely to hit on Alex Balk: cvxn
Most crossover appeal: Garfield Minus Garfield
Tumblr Sweetheart: Katiebakes
Biggest flirt: SoupSoup
Best dressed: Sara Zucker
Most likely to succeed: Molly Lambert
Nicest smile: The Doree Chronicles
Best account name: thumbwrestlinginbaltimore
Worst account name: rebloggingrebloggingjulia
Gayest (and campiest) account name: Faggotry
Bitchiest, most bitchin' Tumblr: Frangry
The Tumblr we missed the most: Ryan Adams
The Tumblr we hate to miss the most: Jakob Lodwick
Best Tumblr criticizing an Internet celebrity: Reblogging Julia
Best Tumblr criticizing Internet non-celebrities: Trainwrecks
Worst Tumblr criticizing an Internet celebrity: The Unbearable Balkness of Being
The Tumblr Queen Bee: Julia Allison
Best In Drag: Blakeley
Best political Tumblr: Squashed
Best n+1 editor with a Tumblr: Keith Gessen
Best unsolicited advice: Rules for My Unborn Son
Biggest crush (male): Mills (also winning for Biggest Hair)
Biggest crush (female): Molly Young
She reads Domino so you don't have to: Look Mom
She reads Hipster Runoff so you don't have to: Britticisms
Best Tumblr by a fictional person: What Would Don Draper Do?
Best Tumblr inspired by a real person: Stevie Nicks Has Never...
Begging you to un-follow them, but you won't: Young Manhattanite
Begging you to un-follow him, and mission accomplished: Brian Van
Best poet with a Tumblr: The Septa Haiku
The Chrissy Hynde Award for Achievement in Music Tumbling goes to Maura Johnston
The Pauline Kael Award for Achievement in Film Tumbling goes to Karina Longworth
And the George Orwell Award for Lifetime Achievement in Blogging goes to Alex Balk:
Tyler Coates is the contributing editor to This Recording. He is in a somewhat abusive love/hate relationship with his Tumblr account
This Recording on Tumblr:
Tumblrs We Can Never Un-Follow
frangry and antikris, just hanging out
what the inside of a tumblr looks like
SONGS FOR EASY TUMBLIN'
"I'll Tumble 4 Ya" - Culture Club (mp3)
"Where Is My Mind" - Nada Surf (mp3)
"Jack Killed Mom" - Jenny Lewis (mp3)
"Love Lockdown" - Kanye West (mp3)
Get this rappr a Tumblr!
PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING
David Karp: Foundr of the Tumblrverse