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Alex Carnevale

Features Editor
Mia Nguyen

Reviews Editor
Ethan Peterson

This Recording

is dedicated to the enjoyment of audio and visual stimuli. Please visit our archives where we have uncovered the true importance of nearly everything. Should you want to reach us, e-mail alex dot carnevale at gmail dot com, but don't tell the spam robots. Consider contacting us if you wish to use This Recording in your classroom or club setting. We have given several talks at local Rotarys that we feel went really well.

Pretty used to being with Gwyneth

Regrets that her mother did not smoke

Frank in all directions

Jean Cocteau and Jean Marais

Simply cannot go back to them

Roll your eyes at Samuel Beckett

John Gregory Dunne and Joan Didion

Metaphors with eyes

Life of Mary MacLane

Circle what it is you want

Not really talking about women, just Diane

Felicity's disguise

Live and Active Affiliates
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In Which Tyler Coates Is Too Hot To Handle, Too Cold To Hold

Too Much Tyler: The Very Best Of Tyler Coates

by Molly Lambert

Read Tyler's Bio on This Recording

His Own Blog is Too Much Awesome

In Other News, He'll Tumbl For Ya

Tyler Coates and the Family Cat

He Was Born In A Small Town

He Went To Fredricksburg To Buy A Suit

He Found His Soul-Mate and They Watched Laugh-In

Tyler's cat enjoys reading J.D. Salinger's novellas

Tyler On Project Gayway: (Why not Project Rungay?)

Weeks One & Two

Week Three

Week Four

I are serious cat...This are serious book...

Week Five

Week Six

Week Eight (there is no Week Seven, Deal With It)

He Was Once A Young Man

He's Not There, But You Weren't There Either

He Reviewed Musicals Like Hairspray & Sweeney Todd

He Got Obsessed with Julie Klausner and Jackie Clarke

The Picture of Meowrian Gray

Gawker Let Him Down, So He Moved To Jezebel

He Finds Other People's Bad Breakups Fascinating

He Has Never Had A Grapefruit, He Eats What He Likes

The Lulz Jar

He Got Exiled In Guyville With Liz Phair

He Said No More Mr. Nice Guys

He Finds Carol Channing Hilarious

"B'Scuse Me?"


Unless He's Depressed

But The World Still Amuses Him With Its Inanity


He's A Little Bit Mandy Patinkin (Maybe More Than A Little)

He is LOL Jellicle Cats

He Came Out Kinda, And All That Jazz

On A Steel Horse He Blogs

He Would Never Break Up With You In A Blog

He Loves William Faulkner Because He Is Southern

He Mostly Self-Identifies As Hilarious

Baby Tyler And Dad = Two Fair Haired Hotties

He Just Had A Rough Couple Of Months

He Appreciates Your Love And Support

It's Just Too Much - The Velvet Underground: (mp3)

Too Much Of Nothing - Bob Dylan: (mp3)

You Like Me Too Much - The Beatles: (mp3)

Too Much - The Feelies: (mp3)

This Recording Really Loves Tyler Coates

Like A Coat From The Cold - Guy Clark: (mp3)

Sugar Coated Love - Barbara Lynn: (mp3)

Too Much Monkey Business - The Kinks: (mp3)

Molly Lambert is managing editor of This Recording.


Becca explains the bros before hos phenomenon.

Chris Rock in Vanity Fair.

Talking to God is Laurel begging Hardy for a gun.


In Which Tess Is Mad Fly Like Ice T

You Should Probably Coco

by Tess Lynch

Fuck Soulja Boy! Eat a dick! This ni–a single handedly killed Hip Hop. That shit is such garbage man. We came all the way from Rakim, we came all the way from Das EFX, we came all the way from motherfuckers flowing like Big Daddy Kane and Ice Cube, and you come with that Superman shit? That shit is garbage. Hurricane (Chris) take them fuoking beads out of your hair ni–a! Man up. You ni–as is making me feel real fucking mad about this shit.

- Ice T, the paragon of strange line deliveries on SVU.


Coco happens to be a Playboy model, and she is crazy about Ice T for all the reasons you'd assume. And, of course, she has a lot to offer as well. But the real thing is that Ice T takes his moniker (real name: Tracy Marrow) from one of the illest pimps to ever write a series of 99 cent paperbacks, Iceberg Slim. Does that mean he automatically deserves to be dating a Playboy model with giant hooters? Yes.

However, as a serial monogamist (relatively speaking), he deserves her because he knows how to treat a woman right (that's a guess).

He also served in the army, and hated it, like a lot of people who serve in the army; has had a successful film and TV career even though he's quoted as saying "I can't act, I really can't act" in the Brent Owens documentary Pimps Up, Ho's Down; AND HE WAS IN LEPRECHAUN: IN THE HOOD. I mean, come on, the man is sort of actually the most awesome person I've ever heard of. He has taken all of my ambitions and achieved them.

Coco, also known as Coco-T, is herself a blogger of sorts, raking in 2,000,000 hits a week on her site. She's a dancer, has guest-starred on SVU (cute!), and once won a $10,000 scholarship to attend Beverly Hills Studio with Hilary Swank and Jessica Alba.

Coco and Ice T competed against Melissa and Joan Rivers on Celebrity Family Feud June 24th.

Tess Lynch is the contributing editor to This Recording. Her blog is here, and she tumbles here.


"My Baby" - Ice T (mp3)

"Pimp or Die" - Ice T (mp3)

"Walking in the Rain" - Ice T (mp3)


Alex went for Neil Gaiman.

Danish reminded us of all of 2007’s good songs so far.

Molly shone a light on British country-rocker Ian Matthews.


In Which You've Got To Be Somebody's Baby

Little Darlings

by Molly Lambert

There's been a lot of debate lately about what is and is not appropriate to critique on the internets. The short answer is: anything's up for grabs, and if you don't believe me try reading 4chan for five minutes. The long answer is: I don't know where the line is, but I know when somebody crosses it.

Baby Bjork

One of the worst things you can do is criticize the physical appearance of children. I know that every time Perez Hilton says something mean about Sadie Sandler it makes me hate him that much more, and I already hate him a lot.

You Don't Mess With The Jew-Frohan

But what if the babies are already grown? Once someone's an adult, is it fair game to go back and criticize them for having been a weird or odd looking child? It's a rule that very cute babies often grow up to be strange looking people, and sometimes the ugliest babies make the most gorgeous grown ups. It's also just funny to see what they looked like as kids because (massive plastic surgery aside) most faces don't change that much.

Baby Jean Claude Van Damme

Anyway, since Alex has gone off his rocker like John Rocker it's been entirely up to me to maintain the integrity and good standing of This Recording. Alex's head just exploded when he read that sentence. Don't worry about it though. He has a cabinet full of interchangeable heads with different expressions, like Mombi.

Baby Oprah = Boprah?

And he told this horrible Obambi site to take his piece down, as he is not anti-Obama. He's not pro-Hitler, either. He is just anti-everything. He's a libertarian! It doesn't mean I am. I mean, we could potentially put everything sarcastic in comic sans or italics but that might just make things more confusing, don't you think?


"Come back when you've fucked some of this baby fat off."

looks like a Basil Wolverton drawing

Real name: Farrokh Bulsara

Baby De Niro? I'd hit it

"I can't wait 'til I'm old enough for fake teeth"

Arnold looks like an ad campaign for Nazi Youth

Baby Douche grows up to be Big Douche

Kate Hudson makes this face when eating souls

Baby Ginger Lohan already giving the side-eye

Baby Theodore Logan is hot, I'm a dirty old woman.

BB Julia Roberts, soon to torture Liz Phair at camp

Baby Miley Cyrus. This pic was taken last year.

BB Ashton Kutcher got punk'd

Baby Jay-Z looks just the same

Molly Lambert is the managing editor of This Recording

My brother made another great mix for you to download and listen to. This one features The Beach Boys, Arabian Prince, Dam Funk, Ready For The World, Ennio Morricone, Schooly D, Stereolab and other things that seem like they shouldn't go together but do.

Summer Solstice Space Cadet Mix - Ben Lambert (mp3)


Celebrity Couples Presage The Apocalypse

We Remake Every Movie Using Nicholas Cage As The Lead

Herbie: The Car That Fucked A Girl

BB Winston Churchill Reads TR


In Which She Who Makes A Beast of Herself Gets Rid of the Pain of Being A Woman

We Only Want What We Can't Have

by Alex Carnevale

The list of actresses who are so thoroughly absorbed in the character they play that they will never be successful in another role grows longer by the day.

Jenna Fischer, who plays the meek secretary Pam Beasley, pretty much lost us when she started being a dick to Toby. Her new film, The Promotion, has already begun to irritate us. The British Office was smart to finish up with the English Jim and Pam's hot makeout.


trying too hard to prove she's bosomy

We are living the future of this decision, when two uglifying forces hold hands during a walk for charity, or peck at each other behind the desk of poverty. The whole point to the Gervais and Merchant Office is that the two would leave this sad paper factory and pursue a new life as artists, or failing that, actors. How we will they could truly be set free!

Fischer herself is only kind of hot. She consistently wants to be so unerringly cute that it makes us super nauseous, especially in the mornings. She is the female personification of an over-sweetness, a desire to be cute instead of actually interesting, that we despise with every fibre of our being.

Her recent blog entries are soon to be used against Al-Qaeda operatives in Guantanamo Bay.

Hello! It is almost midnight in Los Angeles and I'm leaving for New York in the morning. I haven't started packing! I have laundry to do and the house to clean. I need to run to the store for cat supplies. (Okay, now I'm officially stressed.)

I'm doing really great. I had a tough year last year. But I'm stronger because of it. I worked hard to fight my way back to physical health. I found a great balance in my personal life. I'm happier than I think I've ever been.

put those fake teeth away plz

My favorite thing about the movie was filming in Chicago. I'm from St. Louis and have visited Chicago many times. I LOVE the energy of the city. My folks and my sister and her husband came to visit me on set. It was the first time they had ever seen me on a movie set. So, that was cool. I also made good friends on this film. I met and became friends with Fred Armisen. We had dinner almost every night. Seann William Scott is an AMAZING human being. We are still close. I became friends with a few crew members as well. The whole cast and crew on the film were great.

seann william scott! jenna fischer! that guy from stepbrothers! it's gonna be...terrible!

Seann William Scott is AMAZING in this film. This is unlike anything you've ever seen him do. I didn't know what to expect when I met Seann because he usually plays such big characters on screen. The night before we met I watched American Wedding. He has that hilarious scene where he eats dog shit and pretends it is chocolate. I figured I was going to meet a crazy guy.

In real life he is very friendly but in the most genuine, sweet-hearted way. He is one of the nicest people I've ever met. He always goes out of his way to make people feel comfortable. And, he's funny. He's very funny. Anyway, I am so proud of being in this movie with him. The character he plays in this movie is very close to what Seann is like in real life. I think it is going to change the way people see him.

The writers are hard at work on our next season. They will be writing through the summer. I've heard a number of things thrown around but nothing definite. I'm just as eager as you are to find out what happens. I'm most curious about Pam's art school opportunity. I hope she goes. She's never been outside of Scranton. Not even for college. I would love to see her have this adventure. I think it is time for her to branch out.

I also do not know anything about the spinoff. I don't know what it is called, what it is about, who is in it. As of right now, I have not been asked to be in it. That's all I know.

Her description of how she got cast on The Office is so boring I want to die.

This story merely adds to the problem.

"I grew up in St. Louis Missouri. I always wanted to be an actor but when you grow up in a place like St. Louis that is sort of like saying, 'I want to be a superhero when I grow up.' It hardly seems real," writes the actress on her Myspace.com blog.

Fischer emphasizes that everyone's story is different, and that knowledge has caused her to watch TV in a whole new way.

"I watch a show and I see the person who has 3 lines on Law and Order and I think, 'Their family is gathered around the TV flipping out right now. I bet that was a huge deal for that person!'"

In her free time, Fischer took acting classes, performed in storefront theaters and went to cattle-call auditions.

"More than once I found myself competing for roles against Alyson Hannigan," she says.

What a shock.


the real Pam. she works in your office and desires your sperm

Her discussion of her crush on Seann William Scott is no better. OK, that’s as mad as I can get about Jenna Fischer without showing you this nauseating Playboy interview. Does she think she’s Yoko Ono or something?

On keeping her The Office character Pam “authentic”: “To keep Pam authentic, I’ve held back from doing some things. I haven’t had my teeth whitened. I haven’t gotten porcelain veneers. And you’ll notice other things if you look carefully. I don’t get Mystic Tan treatments, for example, or any of that stuff. I need to keep it real so Pam can always look like a believable girl, not suddenly all plasticky like a movie star.”

Oh you mean like this?


jenna and a betch

On losing an Emmy: “Rainn Wilson and I refer to ourselves as Emmy-losing actors. We’ll be on set in a scene, and I’ll be like, ‘Seriously everyone, be quiet — Emmy-losing actor about to work.’ Maybe everyone should have something like that. Did you win the fifth-grade spelling bee? You can go with whatever your highest achievement is. That should precede your name at all times.”


my necklace is pointing WHERE EXACTLY?

On making People magazine’s 100 most beautiful celebrities in 2006: “I was so tickled by that because I loved the ‘Most Beautiful’ issue when I was a little girl. I got it every year. I still have one with Julia Roberts on the cover, because I was just oh so excited. Now I think I’m going to put it in my movie contract that they have to call me ‘37th Most Beautiful Person 2006, Emmy-losing actress Jenna Fischer.’”

On being a wild youth: When I was a high school senior, I used to work at Long John Silver's. I had to wear a visor. If I wanted to stay out, I would tell my parents that I had to close. My curfew was midnight, but we closed at 1:30 in the morning. Then I'd get off at 10:30 and I'd go out with my boyfriend until 1:30.


isn't my expression so funny isn't it isn't it isn't it

Now you have experienced the full volume of Jenna Fischer's life experience. We have had you, Jenna, and we no longer want you in the same way. We have realized that the only enjoyable part of the affair was the wanting, and the having doesn't measure it up to its many thrills, seen and unseen. We wanted you, we want you no longer. We don't need you, we wanted to need you. Now we don't even want you, not even if you want us. It's over.

Please tune into this space tomorrow, where we continue to do the important work of destroying the respect you had for everyone you used to admire.

Alex Carnevale is the editor of This Recording.


Jane's Addiction, January 31, 1987, King's Hall at USC:

"Chip Away (live)" - Jane's Addiction (mp3)

"My Time (live)" - Jane's Addiction (mp3)

"Whores (live)" - Jane's Addiction (mp3)


We took a mind trip to Georgia

Alex went Into The Wild and came back just shy of alive.

Tess went to the Dirty South and ate a deep fried avocado.


In Which We Have Serious Questions About Whether We Will Be Able To Tolerate Her Any Longer

The Scarlett Present

by Alex Carnevale

I have said in this space many times that celebrity couples are the way a decadent society expresses themselves. So too in the case of the walking thesis against the existence of white people, the pending marriage of Scarlett and Ryan Reynolds.

we will avoid attention dressed like this

While her mostly physical relationship with Reynolds surely represents all male desire to dump their brunette girlfriends for stupider blondes, she has herself become a far more important symbol. Her burgeoning relationship with the one known as Barack Obama strikes fear in our heats.

barack let's talk about expanding head start come onnnnnn

You see, in the time leading up to this coming election for president, you are going to meet somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,000 white girls telling you that you should vote for Obama for president:

She’s not alone. Jessica Alba is for Obama. So are Ryan Phillippe, John Legend, Anthony Kiedis, Taye Diggs, Kate Walsh and countless others. But Johansson emphasizes that it’s not just young Hollywood coming out. “His support goes across all of America, not just with celebrity endorsements,” she says, laughing. “Trying to find McCain’s youthful core group is going to be challenging. One of the driving forces behind the Obama campaign is that all of these young people who never had a reason to vote before finally got the fire under their ass.”

WOW! John Legend is supporting Obama!?! Now I don't even need to understand the issues!

I love to hear morons like this guy talking about "The Choice" and being like, "If you're for gay rights, you'll support Obama!" Hillary made a similar misstep in her otherwise great speech on Saturday. "Gay rights" has become a throwaway phrase for candidates.

If you didn't know it already, both major candidates in this election are against gay marriage. Do you think Scarlett's aware of that? Do you think any young people are?

gargle gargle gargle

These young people will not necessarily have been interested in politics before, but they will be utterly convinced of one thing: Barack Obama is the man to lead our country.

Barack was the only candidate to oppose the war from the beginning, you know.

Did you know that Obama once saved 16 Venezuelan children. And he smokes cigarettes just like us!

I think he's kinda hot. Don't you?

Peer pressure from blondes also caused the volcanic eruption of Mount St. Helens. True story.


he's texting me right now you guys!!!

Obama is sparking comparisons to Reagan, and rightly so. The irony of this is that before Bill Clinton became a racist asshole, he was really Reagan-incarnate - a politician who appealed more to people on his charisma than actual merit. The thing is, everyone knows Bill is a skeezeball, where people actually trust Obama like they did Reagan. This is powerful political capital, and it ensures Obama will win the election. If we may be frank, it also excuses this kind of behavior:

Obama and his muse have also had a number of tete-a-tetes. "The most time I spent with him was the first time I met him, at a private event for supporters," Johansson told Politico. "After that, it's been a few minutes here, a few minutes there on the trail."

What she can do in a few minutes would probably last us a lifetime.

While the Clintons enjoyed a long run of support in the Hollywood establishment, Johanson is part of a new generation, including Jessica Alba, Ryan Phillippe, and Taye Diggs, that infected with Obama fever.

Now that primary season is over, the actress plans to help with Obama's fund-raising efforts, possibly appearing at private events - even attending a party at someone's home, for example, if they donate enough money.

"Even I'm wary of celebrity endorsements," Johansson said. But, she continued, "if the spotlight is on me, I might as well try to direct it on things and causes that I believe in."

Taye Diggs? Skeptical. Chick in The Other Boleyn Girl? Vote Obama!

a glimpse of the glorious winehouse future that we could have had

Seventy-four percent of Democrats are excited about voting in 2008 as opposed to 49 percent of Republicans, and that less people are saying they are Republicans now than at any time in the last twenty years...we have entered our collective ScarJo Present. The recent retarded spate of 'conservatism is dead' articles aside, if anyone is going to kill conservatism, it's going to be John McCain, not Barack Obama. And if anyone is going to kill Barack Obama, it's going to be a bright shade of Scarlett.

"I am engaged ... to Barack Obama," Johansson joked in an interview with The Associated Press on Thursday. "My heart belongs to Barack, and that is who I am currently, finally, engaged to. Yes."

The only celeb McCain can get to fug him is Robert Duvall.


"next time let's use protection." there you go!

The thing you have to love about Scarlett is that she really enjoys being a symbol, as when posing like Cinderella for the new Disney ads. And her trip to the Gulf region on a USO tour truly hilariouses us all.

The 23-year-old said in the release that she has long received letters from U.S. servicemembers and looked forward to meeting with them and signing autographs during her tour.“This USO tour to the Gulf region truly means a lot,” she said in the release. “I’ve wanted to go over and visit for some time, and now my moment has arrived. It’s one thing to reply to a letter or extend your thanks to servicemembers in a speech, but it’s another thing to visit them and spend time with those that do so much for us back home.”

bebe buell is rolling over in her grave unless she is still alive


Favorite president?

Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Do you have any Latino ancestry?

Not that I know of.


The 23-year-old actress talked about the warm welcome she received while visiting troops stationed in the Persian Gulf . Johansson dropped by U.S. bases in Kuwait on Jan. 17 and Jan. 18 as part of a USO tour in which she met about 3,500 men and women in uniform.

"Everybody that I met there was so incredibly friendly and polite and genuine and generous," she said. "They were so, so sweet. I mean, I was just amazed."

She was shocked that military soldiers were well-behaved. Great. It was nice of Scarlett to shake her ta-ta's for our men in uniform, I will give her that. I hope she did the right thing and went all the the way with everyone.

Johansson said some people ripped patches off their jackets as gifts and handed her challenge coins from their military units. One Marine offered up his St. Christopher medal. Another starstruck guy gushed: "You made my whole deployment!"


scarjo's tramp stamp

I hope she spoke well of the troops to her pen pal:

Johansson is somewhat shocked that he keeps up their back-and-forth correspondence. “You’d imagine that someone like the senator who is constantly traveling and constantly ‘on’ — how can he return these personal e-mails?” she asks. “But he does, and in his off-time I know he also calls people who have donated the minimum to thank them. Nobody sees it, nobody talks about it, but it’s incredible.” She adds, “I feel like I’m supporting someone, and having a personal dialogue with them, and it’s amazing.”

To quote Tim Allen, Barack, you're only one man. Obama would be such a class wingman. Do I foresee a guest spot as Barney's second black brother on How I Met Your Mother?

He has followed her career as well, telling her that his favorite performance was her turn in “Lost in Translation.” He’s a “huge movie lover” and “knows who every actor is,” she says.

As for her own involvement with his campaign, she’s pragmatic. “I approach my campaigning for Obama the same way I do my work for other social or environmental causes: I’m hoping to raise awareness,” she explains. “I’m not telling people who to vote for, and I don’t expect that if I did it would swing votes. At least, I hope not. What I want to do is raise awareness of Obama and his policies, and share my own story of how I became involved in his campaign. Perhaps, if they’re a fan, my story might entice them to learn or spark their interest some other way. If I can answer questions or direct people to a website where they can get more information, that’s how I can help.”

Other correspondences Barack may or may not be carrying on: Lisa Leslie, McLovin', Margaret Thatcher, Jalen Rose, the latest Bachelorette, Thomas Sowell, Jerry Remy, the lead singer of OneRepublic, Subway Jared, and, of course, Larry David.

Barack has learned the most important lesson of being an international sex symbol: you have e-mail correspondences with pinups, you don't date them. Love is so much more enjoyable when it's electronic-only.

As far as the split in Hollywood between Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton supporters, Johansson says “it’s been a delicate situation” but, she adds, “of course, they’re going to vote Democrat.” (Johansson says she has met some conservatives in show business and a well-known comic actor who calls himself “a liberal Republican.” But she admits GOP supporters in Hollywood are “rare.”)

Ask Kurt Russell's music career what happens to Republicans in the industry. Let's face it, the remake of Escape from New York should have been huge.


you're so big!!!

We also have grave doubts about the directions of Scarlett's career. Her last two films were unwatchable, and that's without carnal knowledge of her recent album.

ScarJo's Tom Waits cover album is the third most annoying thing we can imagine. The second worst thing would be if Britney discovered a Nick Drake fascination and re-recorded Pink Moon or something. The number one worst thing would be a dumb movie about a teenage pregnancy taking the world by storm.

TV on the Radio meets Tom Waits and Scarlett is the embodier. I am shaking right now. I don't know what to do. And you see, that's what she wants. She aims to create an apoplectic rage that you can no longer resist. You give yourself over to it. You vote for Obama. You make a Lil' Wayne mixtape for a white person. You call your scarf a 'bib' when you are at restaurants. You start a tumblr. You begin to admire Brad Pitt, just a little. You wish everyone a happy Kwanzaa and then you chuckle. You tell everyone about your scrabble championship and link to it in your gchat away message. You eagerly await the release of the next U2 album, feeling that even if you don't enjoy it, you should support Bono. You rent Deja Vu. In short, you have become this:

Alex Carnevale is the editor of This Recording.


"No One Knows I'm Gone" - Scarlett Johansson (mp3)

"Anywhere I Lay My Head" - Scarlett Johansson (mp3)

"I Don't Want To Grow Up" - Scarlett Johansson (mp3)

"Town With No Cheer" - Scarlett Johansson (mp3)

"Who Are You" - Scarlett Johansson (mp3)


Celeb couples threaten us all.

Bawdier and bloodier than Beowulf.

You enter the next chamber.

fuck marry kill go

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