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In Which Ben Lambert Is My Brother And It Is His Birthday

Benjamin William Harpo Cronin Lambert

by Molly Lambert

My brother is one year and eight months younger than me. When we were little, everyone thought we were twins. I didn't mind. Now people think he is older, because he's way taller than me. I still don't mind. We are redheads with bedhead whose parents are Deadheads. I usually compare us to Lindsay and Sam Weir. He doesn't like that because he was never as dorky or small as Sam (but I sure was!) As siblings, we're probably most like Pete & Pete, if older Pete's genes and Ellen Hickle's were spliced together.

Ben's great and hilarious and keeps me in check. He knows everything about music that I don't know. He remembers our entire childhood, down to the last detail. And he is very, very, very, wise. If I could, I would nominate him to be the Dalai Lama. Instead I will nominate him to be the next Thomas Jefferson. Much like great ginger U.S. statesman Jefferson, Ben is a wicked smart, polymathic, fully enlightened redhead. In honor of his 23rd b-day, here are 23 reasons my brother is awesome.

1. He fights the powers that be.

2. He is a Kilroy for delicious pie.

3. He is a sweet DJ. Subscribe to his podcast please.

4. You might think talented siblings David and Amy Sedaris or Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal have the coolest brother/sister team award on lock, but that's because maybe you haven't met us yet. When our powers combine, Ben and I become an unstoppable team called the Gyngerhaals.

5. His Lambo's West Coast Ish Mix is sloppy and delicious like a plate of BBQ ribs and fresh like some cold lemonade.

6. He's very polite.

7. Except when he's swinging from chandeliers.

8. He loves to draw a gold toothed little quintapus.

9. He taught me how to do the Kit-Cat Clock dance.

10. He's weirder than I am even (maybe).

11. This is his baby picture.

12. He does not fear the jellyfish, he respects them.

13. He is an outsider artiste extraordinaire.

14. He's a Redhead Without A Cause. Well, actually I guess the cause is a recessive variant of the Mc1r gene.

15. He's not Michael Rapaport.

16. He never smiles in pictures (expect this one).

17. He is red like a lobster.

18. He hung out with Devin the Dude!!!

19. He is not Andy Samberg as Prince Harry.

20. He is red like a ketchup.

21. He is very smart and doesn't need glasses.

22. He is icy cool like a penguin.

23. He's a fantastic brother and friend. Happy birthday dude!


"Lambo's West Coast Ish Mix" - Ben Lambo Lambert

"Little Brother (Electric)" - Grizzly Bear

"Life Of The Party" - Little Brother

"Spazz" - N.E.R.D.


Nom Nom Nom It Are My Birthday

Alex Celebrated Our Joint Birthday

And We Got Matching Virgo Tattoos


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    [...]In Which Ben Lambert Is My Brother And It Is His Birthday - Los Angeles - This Recording[...]
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    Both of your brothers are adorable and i respect your relationship and your togetherness. Those are such a wonderful pictures and funny to gaze at them. Especially the baby picture is so pretty and funny. The way you described him through pictures is just incredible.
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    I found a great...
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    In Which Ben Lambert Is My Brother And It Is His

Reader Comments (11)

Thanks Momo!!

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLambo

that was really sweet.

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersarah

i am a fan of this man.

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdan

A fitting tribute to one of the greatest living humans!

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGabbo

the Andy Samberg as Prince Harry pic is so uncanny

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMolly Lambert

That was so cute and sweet and funny (#11!!!).
You guys are why I could never have just one kid...wouldn't be fair to deprive someone of a sibling.

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGeorgia

For a brief moment in junior high, I fostered a hope that, one day, I would convince Ben to marry me into his family of Deadhead bedheads/baby genius machine. Unfortunately the age gap between 6th and 8th grade was enough to make Molly put the kibosh on my dreams. Now my only hope of being a Lambert is to parent swap our folks, and that seems...disruptive.

May 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertesslynch

[...] little brother Benjamin William Harpo Cronin Lambert has gifted us all with an incredible mixtape as the landmark first broadcast for THIS RECORDING [...]

[...] Ben Lambert’s Birthday [...]

For a short moment in junior high, I cultivated a hope that, someday, I would encourage Ben to wed me into his household of Deadhead bedheads/baby brilliant machine. However the age gap in between 6th as well as 8th quality sufficed to make Molly placed the kibosh on my desires. Now my only hope of being a Lambert is to moms and dad swap our individuals
January 12, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterlion tattoo
You guys are why I could possibly never have just one youngster ... wouldn't be fair to rob someone of a brother or sister
January 12, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterbraided hairstyles

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