In Which Ben Lambert Is My Brother And It Is His Birthday
Thursday, May 15, 2008 at 1:00PM 
Benjamin William Harpo Cronin Lambert
by Molly Lambert
My brother is one year and eight months younger than me. When we were little, everyone thought we were twins. I didn't mind. Now people think he is older, because he's way taller than me. I still don't mind. We are redheads with bedhead whose parents are Deadheads. I usually compare us to Lindsay and Sam Weir. He doesn't like that because he was never as dorky or small as Sam (but I sure was!) As siblings, we're probably most like Pete & Pete, if older Pete's genes and Ellen Hickle's were spliced together.
Ben's great and hilarious and keeps me in check. He knows everything about music that I don't know. He remembers our entire childhood, down to the last detail. And he is very, very, very, wise. If I could, I would nominate him to be the Dalai Lama. Instead I will nominate him to be the next Thomas Jefferson. Much like great ginger U.S. statesman Jefferson, Ben is a wicked smart, polymathic, fully enlightened redhead. In honor of his 23rd b-day, here are 23 reasons my brother is awesome.
1. He fights the powers that be.
2. He is a Kilroy for delicious pie.
3. He is a sweet DJ. Subscribe to his podcast please.
4. You might think talented siblings David and Amy Sedaris or Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal have the coolest brother/sister team award on lock, but that's because maybe you haven't met us yet. When our powers combine, Ben and I become an unstoppable team called the Gyngerhaals.
5. His Lambo's West Coast Ish Mix is sloppy and delicious like a plate of BBQ ribs and fresh like some cold lemonade.
6. He's very polite.
7. Except when he's swinging from chandeliers.
8. He loves to draw a gold toothed little quintapus.
9. He taught me how to do the Kit-Cat Clock dance.
10. He's weirder than I am even (maybe).
11. This is his baby picture.
12. He does not fear the jellyfish, he respects them.
13. He is an outsider artiste extraordinaire.
14. He's a Redhead Without A Cause. Well, actually I guess the cause is a recessive variant of the Mc1r gene.
15. He's not Michael Rapaport.
16. He never smiles in pictures (expect this one).
17. He is red like a lobster.
18. He hung out with Devin the Dude!!!
19. He is not Andy Samberg as Prince Harry.
20. He is red like a ketchup.
21. He is very smart and doesn't need glasses.
22. He is icy cool like a penguin.
23. He's a fantastic brother and friend. Happy birthday dude!
SONGS FOR MY LITTLE BRO'S B-DAY
"Lambo's West Coast Ish Mix" - Ben Lambo Lambert
"Little Brother (Electric)" - Grizzly Bear
"Life Of The Party" - Little Brother
"Spazz" - N.E.R.D.
PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING:
Nom Nom Nom It Are My Birthday
Alex Celebrated Our Joint Birthday
And We Got Matching Virgo Tattoos
THIS RECORDING IS A FAMILY AFFAIR
Reader Comments (9)
Thanks Momo!!
that was really sweet.
i am a fan of this man.
A fitting tribute to one of the greatest living humans!
the Andy Samberg as Prince Harry pic is so uncanny
That was so cute and sweet and funny (#11!!!).
You guys are why I could never have just one kid...wouldn't be fair to deprive someone of a sibling.
For a brief moment in junior high, I fostered a hope that, one day, I would convince Ben to marry me into his family of Deadhead bedheads/baby genius machine. Unfortunately the age gap between 6th and 8th grade was enough to make Molly put the kibosh on my dreams. Now my only hope of being a Lambert is to parent swap our folks, and that seems...disruptive.
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