Benjamin William Harpo Cronin Lambert
by Molly Lambert
My brother is one year and eight months younger than me. When we were little, everyone thought we were twins. I didn't mind. Now people think he is older, because he's way taller than me. I still don't mind. We are redheads with bedhead whose parents are Deadheads. I usually compare us to Lindsay and Sam Weir. He doesn't like that because he was never as dorky or small as Sam (but I sure was!) As siblings, we're probably most like Pete & Pete, if older Pete's genes and Ellen Hickle's were spliced together.
Ben's great and hilarious and keeps me in check. He knows everything about music that I don't know. He remembers our entire childhood, down to the last detail. And he is very, very, very, wise. If I could, I would nominate him to be the Dalai Lama. Instead I will nominate him to be the next Thomas Jefferson. Much like great ginger U.S. statesman Jefferson, Ben is a wicked smart, polymathic, fully enlightened redhead. In honor of his 23rd b-day, here are 23 reasons my brother is awesome.
1. He fights the powers that be.
2. He is a Kilroy for delicious pie.
4. You might think talented siblings David and Amy Sedaris or Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal have the coolest brother/sister team award on lock, but that's because maybe you haven't met us yet. When our powers combine, Ben and I become an unstoppable team called the Gyngerhaals.
6. He's very polite.
7. Except when he's swinging from chandeliers.
9. He taught me how to do the Kit-Cat Clock dance.
10. He's weirder than I am even (maybe).
11. This is his baby picture.
12. He does not fear the jellyfish, he respects them.
13. He is an outsider artiste extraordinaire.
16. He never smiles in pictures (expect this one).
17. He is red like a lobster.
18. He hung out with Devin the Dude!!!
19. He is not Andy Samberg as Prince Harry.
20. He is red like a ketchup.
21. He is very smart and doesn't need glasses.
22. He is icy cool like a penguin.
23. He's a fantastic brother and friend. Happy birthday dude!
SONGS FOR MY LITTLE BRO'S B-DAY
"Lambo's West Coast Ish Mix" - Ben Lambo Lambert
"Little Brother (Electric)" - Grizzly Bear
"Life Of The Party" - Little Brother
"Spazz" - N.E.R.D.
PREVIOUSLY ON THIS RECORDING:
THIS RECORDING IS A FAMILY AFFAIR