AMERICA « In Which You Want To Be A Man, Don't You? Wait, Do You? »
Tuesday, February 9, 2010 at 8:57AM 
The Big Game
by GREGORY SIDMAN
Boy, oh boy...to be a man. Seems to hold a lot of resonance today. And Sunday’s Superbowl commercials have an affinity for transmitting the typical nostalgic, saudade kind of resonance about coming to terms with the fact that most men aren’t the archetype of how men “should” or could be — self-reliant, self-confident, dominant, charismatic and, essentially free Americans.
I mean all of this in a vague, non-analytical, unsystematic, improperly researched, balls-in-your-face, hastily put together kind of way. I’m dipping into this with a thick brush, and I’m taking broad strokes. I’m writing this like a man. In fact, I’ve half forgotten which ads lead to these thoughts. And I only watched the game till halftime. And I was half-watching, anyway.
But, luckily, the most poignant commercials were limited in number, were almost broadcast consecutively and at the exact moment when I was paying extra special close attention: the Dodge Charger “Man’s Last Stand” ad and the Dove “You’re a Man” ad. The depictions of masculinity, and even the products hocked, are almost at odds — or they at least point to a duality of rough play and cleanliness.
At odds, except for one deep down little bit of emotion that strings them both together, tight like Siamese twins: the utter dissatisfaction with the inane details of being a grown up; those details which seem to get in the way of ‘being a man’; which are so common and pervasive that they seem to consume the existence of men, which forces men to not be men.
As a way to cope with this sad narrative, this mirror of their banality, men, of course, have a few options: drive away from your wife, kids and sense of responsibility as fast as you can in a Dodge; wash yourself obsessively with a bar of Dove, attempting to clean your filthy life from your body and your memory.
And as a third option, as shown in the 10,000 Bud Light commercials broadcast within a four hour period: drink yourself numb, and casually conceal your alcoholism and prosaic self-hatred with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. An ironic sense of humor which acknowledges the fact that you don’t feel as if you stack up against classic examples of American masculinity — and that it’s easier not to try.
Commercials play with male assumptions about grown up, manly masculinity the way boys play with toys. And obviously, they only let guys in the playhouse if they know the magic password. By the way...do you know the magic password? You think it’s Charger? Nope. Dove? Nah-uh. Flo.tv? Wrong.
It’s less obscure, and you probably say it every day when you wake up: “I hate myself.” You can hate your life, your wife, your job, your car, friends and parents too, but first things first: hate yourself.
Hate yourself with the same uninspired self-pity as Robin Williams’ Peter Banning hates himself in Hook. Hate yourself, buy a car, and never grow up. Boy, oh boy — now that growing up without growing old has been replaced with growing old without growing up, we’re all lost boys.
Gregory Sidman is a contributor to This Recording. He is a writer living in Los Angeles. This is his first appearance in these pages.
photo by Lilja and Inga Birgisdóttir"Boy Lilikoi" - Jónsi (mp3)
"Ammaelolnidur" - Jónsi (mp3)
"Happiness" - Jónsi & Alex (mp3)
Reader Comments (3)
What an enjoyable little plunge into a spot-on perspective of contemporary man in American pop culture. What I find so interesting is that I can connect to these points at all having been largely alien from pop culture for some two decades.
It either means these issues are universal (at least in my past experience of American culture) or these male influences in culture are so prevalent that no one can avoid them.
You see, though I live in America, I haven't watched TV, except in the most outsider and occasional context, in about 20 years. I've been on the Web almost daily for over 12 years and have a bachelor's degree in media and communications theory, so I'm not "under a rock".
Still, it's interesting to note that, as a man here in the states, I can so clearly see the thread of what can only be called backwards views of how a "Man" is supposed to be and do.
Sure, I get it: it's the "Super Bowl" and is supposed to be light fun and entertainment. Let's all just drink beers and have a laugh. I see that too and it is fun to hang out with friends and watch a game.
Can we move on though too a bit as a culture and stop being so fearful of ourselves and act... I dunno... a little more maturely? If fearful and maturity are too strong, then can we at least take a critical look and indulge some media literacy about how manipulated we've allowed ourselves to be at the hands of a pop media machine bent on wringing a few bucks from us at whatever cost?
Articles like these are a perfectly good place to start the analysis of the desperation and blind will in commercial culture and ourselves as its muse/victim.
now that growing up without growing old has been replaced with growing old without growing up, we’re all lost boys.
- that part was awesome