Quantcast

Video of the Day

Masthead

Editor-in-Chief
Alex Carnevale
(e-mail/tumblr/twitter)

Features Editor
Mia Nguyen
(e-mail)

Reviews Editor
Ethan Peterson

This Recording

is dedicated to the enjoyment of audio and visual stimuli. Please visit our archives where we have uncovered the true importance of nearly everything. Should you want to reach us, e-mail alex dot carnevale at gmail dot com, but don't tell the spam robots. Consider contacting us if you wish to use This Recording in your classroom or club setting. We have given several talks at local Rotarys that we feel went really well.

Pretty used to being with Gwyneth

Regrets that her mother did not smoke

Frank in all directions

Jean Cocteau and Jean Marais

Simply cannot go back to them

Roll your eyes at Samuel Beckett

John Gregory Dunne and Joan Didion

Metaphors with eyes

Life of Mary MacLane

Circle what it is you want

Not really talking about women, just Diane

Felicity's disguise

Live and Active Affiliates
This area does not yet contain any content.
Monday
Jul182011

« In Which Grace Kelly Makes The Rules Around Here »

Amazing Grace

by ALMIE ROSE

I just found out that Grace Kelly was a slut and this has to mean something.

Maybe I should clarify (or not, it’s Manhattan, who gives a fuck): I had heard the old Hollywood rumors that Grace Kelly was not as pristine as her cool Hitchcockian image would have one believe. But Wendy Leigh's 2007 biography True Grace is quite revealing.

Grace Kelly would sleep with a guy on the first date. I find this shocking considering the era. And also considering that in those times, dates were dates. You wouldn’t spend the evening “watching a movie” on some guy’s couch; you’d get dressed up and go dancing at the Stork Club. You’d sit at a table in front of Bobby Darin while he sang about love and later he’d try to grab your ass but that would be OK. These were simpler times. But for all the decadence and politeness people still did it, and sometimes that’s easy to forget, which is why it’s so surprising to hear that Grace Kelly put out on the first date or Peggy on Mad Men asking her date, “Do you have a Trojan?”

with Cary Grant on the set of 'To Catch a Thief'

One of Kelly’s signature moves was to emerge totally naked. I don’t mean at Bergdorf’s or on the street, I mean after she was alone with her date. She would excuse herself into the bathroom and come back naked, or if he went to the bathroom he would come back to find her naked. I can see her doing this but only posing as though she were a store mannequin, one perfectly manicured hand on her hip, the other lifted into the air as if to say, “Why not take a gander at my vagina?”

According to Leigh, the night Kelly won the Academy Award (for The Country Girl) she also won Marlon Brando, taking him back to her place, where their adult plans were interrupted by a scathing phone call from Judy Garland shouting, “This is Judy Garland, Judy Fucking Garland. You bitch! You took what was rightfully mine. [Garland was also nominated for “Best Actress” for her work in A Star Is Born, and favored to win.] Tonight was my last chance for the Oscar. You’ll have many more chances in your future. This was it for me. I’ll never forgive you.” Or in other words, “What don’t you fucking understand? You and me are done professionally.” In this way, Garland was clearly the Christian Bale of her time.

But as it would turn out, Kelly did not have “many more chances”; not long after she married the Prince of Monaco in a move that made her family and contemporaries say, “WTF LOL WHUT.” Prince Rainier was a far cry from Marlon Brando or John F. Kennedy, who Kelly also “dated” (and by dated I mostly mean slept with.) And Kelly’s father literally bought Grace the title, with a dowry of $2,000,000.

Maybe Kelly was sick of falling for married co-stars and wanted a real Prince and not a man like Bing Crosby, who appeared princely on the screen, but in real life broke Kelly’s heart after changing his mind about leaving his wife and beat his children with sweet Valencia oranges. I know, Bing Crosby. What on earth is sexy about Bing Crosby? Grace Kelly had a thing for older men. Unresolved Daddy issues? You bet. Her father often said that his youngest daughter was his favorite and was openly vocal about this and his surprise in that Grace amounted to anything other than a housewife. So Grace Kelly found her solace in old grizzled men like Clark Gable, Gary Cooper, and Jimmy Stewart.

A lot of people think of Gwyneth Paltrow as the modern day Grace Kelly, but the truth is, she's more like Sienna Miller.

She was known for having affairs with all of her costars and didn’t let a marriage stop her, though Jimmy Stewart is apparently the only married co-star she didn’t sleep with, maybe because Stewart’s wife, knowing about Kelly’s reputation, visited the set every day. Kelly would move from man to man holding her steel-cut jaw high, rarely getting heartbroken, with the exception of Gable, who she practically had to beg to sleep with her, because Gable was more interested in Ava Gardner, but didn’t care to cross Sinatra.

Kelly was clingy around Gable and desperate to capture his attention and hold onto it. Hey, we’ve all been there, right? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve romanced an old Hollywood legend only to think, "Does he really like me for me or for the publicity?" You know, that age-old dilemma.

backstage with Audrey Hepburn at the 1956 Academy Awards

My point though is not to shun Kelly for her wanton ways. But rather instead I suggest we step a little further from our romantic notions of old Hollywood and see that era for what it really was. Just because couples didn’t sleep in the same bed in film or television in those times doesn’t mean that they weren’t screwing like mad. Also, that bitch Grace Kelly got everything she ever wanted through family connections, money, and impeccable features. Fuck her and the pristine horse she rode in on.

Almie Rose is the senior contributor to This Recording. She is the creator of Apocalypstick and you can find her work at Hello Giggles here. You can find an archive of her work on This Recording here. She last wrote in these pages about Plan 9 From Outer Space.

"Spoonman" - Soundgarden (mp3)

"Burden In My Hand" - Soundgarden (mp3)

"Hands All Over" - Soundgarden (mp3)

References (23)

References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
  • Response
    If you like football, you probably have a favourite group from the National Football League or two and have a list of players who like to have seen.
  • Response
    check out http://www.dealsextra.com.au/business/Hummer-Limos.php for Hummer Limos deals, Hummer Limos reviews
  • Response
    Response: c型钢机
    布袋除尘器,静电除尘器,除尘骨架,除尘设备,脉冲电磁阀,单机除尘器,星型卸料器,脉冲袋式除尘器,湿式除尘器,旋风除尘器,除尘配 布袋除尘器,静电除尘器,除尘骨架,除尘设备,脉冲电磁阀,单机除尘器,星型卸料器,脉冲袋式除尘器,湿式除尘器,旋风除尘器,除尘配件,除尘布袋_ 件,除尘布袋_沧州玺思庄茗重工机械制造有限公司 > 产品展示 > 湿式除尘器系列 >  CTT型前置冲击湍球脱硫除尘 产品展示 气体净化器 CTT型前置冲击湍球脱硫除尘气体净化器  产品详细参数: ,角驰760; 点击: 145 次 CTT型前置冲击湍球脱硫除尘气体净化器 该净化器根据筛板、浮动体冲激、旋流、泡沫等多重原理, 湿式除尘器系列 取
  • Response
    Response: barbados list
    In Which Grace Kelly Makes The Rules Around Here - Home - This Recording
  • Response
    fitflop 2014 fitflop s Fitflops Sale Singapore ale sandal fitflop fitflop walkstar 3 light blue in singapore f Fitflop Sale itflop women's 2014 fitflop newstyle grey gem black fit flops fitflop brown rock chic diamond fitflops sandals Fitflop Sandals Sale fit ...
  • Response
    Response: cosmetic companies
    In Which Grace Kelly Makes The Rules Around Here - Home - This Recording
  • Response
    Response: 数控剪板机
    沧州金辉压瓦机械设备厂 电 话:0317-8086188 电 话:0317-808 沧州金辉压瓦机械设备厂 6199 手 机:13832771638 151337111 59458991@qq.com 01 Q Q:59458991 49870222 ...
  • Response
    Response: 760角驰压瓦机
    压瓦机|复合板机|c型钢机|琉璃瓦机|楼承板机|双层彩钢机|广告扣扳机|彩钢瓦生产机械设备_鑫宏翔压瓦机械厂 压瓦机 http://www.naidihb.com 钢结构行业的发展拉动压瓦机制造业_压瓦机|复合板 复合板机 机|琉璃瓦机|楼承板机|c型钢机|双层压瓦机|三维扣扳机|彩钢瓦生产机械设备_鑫宏翔压瓦机械设备厂http://www.bjnaidi.com 鑫宏翔彩钢自动压瓦机设备的结构原理_压瓦机|复合板机|c型钢机|双层彩钢机|三层压瓦机|角驰压型机|琉璃瓦机|楼承板机|广告扣扳机|重型剪板 c型钢机 机
  • Response
    专业生产:角驰820,角驰760,80-300液压C|Z型钢机,深喉冲 深喉冲床 床,齿轮浪板打拱机,铁皮 齿轮浪板打拱机 压型机,专业液压泵站,冲床捣子,全自动屋面板,墙面板机,内外包边一体机,数控重型折弯,剪板机,Z型钢机,冷弯成型,放料架卷芯,高精度彩钢拱形,高速护栏,复合板生产线,校平机,精密冷弯才压型设备,数控双层压瓦机,铁板压型机,阳极板设备,840压型机,980压型机,,500型抑尘板机,液压自动切割机,琉璃瓦压型机,480型环保阳极板机,数控 高速护栏 全自动压瓦机,彩钢压瓦机生产厂家设备.http://www.1360
  • Response
    I found a great...
  • Response
    Response: вконтакт
    вконтакте
  • Response
    Response: What is Christmas
  • Response
  • Response
    Response: Chung Deadmond
    I found a great...
  • Response
  • Response
    Response: Brain
    I found a great...
  • Response
    Response: Monte
    I found a great...
  • Response
    Response: Eliseo
    page-description
  • Response
    Response: 高速护栏板机
    ,彩钢压瓦机的结构和材料; 彩钢压瓦机的结构和材料 当前位置 / 数控止水钢板机 全自动天沟压型机 止水钢板机 数控钢板止水钢板机 ...
  • Response
    Response: 数控止水板机
    Q Q:59458991 49870222 压瓦机厂 压瓦机厂家 ...
  • Response
    双剪切840-900型压瓦机的优势 (1)该彩钢板设备采用高水平自动控制软件,实现生产信息化管 湖南压瓦机销售热线 理。 ...
  • Response
    1 、计量准:采用低速高精度计量泵,当料温、压力及黏度波动时,混合比例不 河南两用复合板设备厂家 变,以达到最高正品率; 制品。它 设为首页 是以聚醚多元醇和多异氰酸酯在发泡剂、催化剂、乳化剂等多种化学助剂存在下,河南两用复合板设备厂家,经过化 产品性能 ...
  • Response
    Buy amazing best quality quartz clock movements that are available and in stock in addition on sale get it now only!

Reader Comments (7)

In which you should be reading Scandals of Classic Hollywood at The Hairpin.

http://thehairpin.com/2011/06/scandals-of-classic-hollywood-clark-gable-the-scandal-that-wasnt

July 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDavid
In which old hollywood actress were sluts as the actual hollywood but they keep it low key
August 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaky
So, how did this information come about? Were all fellers from Grace Kelly's social & professional circle together at a gentleman's club one night pre-gaming before a bachelor's party when Bing Crosby was all like, "You know who I went out with that one day that later in the evening emerged totally naked? Grace Kelly." And Marlan Brando was like, "WTF? She did the same thing to me!" And then JFK was like, "Dude?! For reals?"

Let's just assume that as soon as mind-numbing boredom dictates more sleeping around, I'm going to try Grace Kelly's little trick...
September 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLuna
hi
September 16, 2013 | Unregistered Commenternive
In which old hollywood actress were sluts as the actual hollywood but they keep it low key
Regarding all aspects the blog was perfectly nice.
November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpillow cases
Yeah I read she had a couple of affairs in her heyday, but I also heard, that that Marlon Brando thing didn't happen because Bing Crosby interrupted the scene, because Brando got the oscar that Bing wanted that night.
Anyway, I read a Biography on Kelly as well, and as far as I am concerned, we know fuck all about the private life of Ms. Kelly. Truth is, most of the stuff we're going to read is speculation, because hints and evidences are not facts and truths.

Anyway, thanks for sharing the cool pictures!
January 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNiko

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
All HTML will be escaped. Hyperlinks will be created for URLs automatically.