Video of the Day


Alex Carnevale

Features Editor
Mia Nguyen

Reviews Editor
Ethan Peterson

This Recording

is dedicated to the enjoyment of audio and visual stimuli. Please visit our archives where we have uncovered the true importance of nearly everything. Should you want to reach us, e-mail alex dot carnevale at gmail dot com, but don't tell the spam robots. Consider contacting us if you wish to use This Recording in your classroom or club setting. We have given several talks at local Rotarys that we feel went really well.

Pretty used to being with Gwyneth

Regrets that her mother did not smoke

Frank in all directions

Jean Cocteau and Jean Marais

Simply cannot go back to them

Roll your eyes at Samuel Beckett

John Gregory Dunne and Joan Didion

Metaphors with eyes

Life of Mary MacLane

Circle what it is you want

Not really talking about women, just Diane

Felicity's disguise

Live and Active Affiliates
This area does not yet contain any content.

« In Which We Trust The Bear But Not The Lion »

Hard to Say is This Recording’s weekly advice column. It will appear every Wednesday until the Earth perishes in a fiery blaze, or until North West turns 40. Get no-nonsense answers to all of your most pressing questions by writing to justhardtosay@gmail.com.


In past relationships I have trusted people and gotten hurt. As a result, I have been told that I suspect very quickly and jump to conclusions if it seems like I am being lied to. In my current relationship, I do trust my boyfriend overall, but I would still like to take precautions so that I know what he is doing, and who he is doing it with. At the same time he has commented, not overly negatively, that it feels like I am controlling. I don’t want to ruin this, but at the same time I don’t want to be hurt. Is it OK for me to check up at times?

Ilana L.

Dear Ilana,

I mean I would like to say yes, but the real answer is not really. The person a man checks in to report his whereabouts is his mother, not his girlfriend. Such induced behavior encourages deception and untruths, the exact situations you claim to want to avoid. If you’re really worried about this sort of thing, another approach is required. Every so often, “confess” something innocuous. You will be forgiven, and he will ask himself why he does not do the same. If he never confesses, this is cause for suspicion. If he tells you similarly innocuous things, he is probably a decent person.

If you suspect further, then be open with your doubts. But don’t requisition trouble, for it will surely arrive..



My boyfriend Haber is a great dad to a three year old. I don’t mind that he has a child and our relationship is wonderful. My question is, I have been extremely reluctant to critique his parenting in any way, since I am not a mother. But if I see him doing something with his son that I disagree with, is it all right to tell him and how should I couch the criticism?

Kelly C. 

Dear Kelly,

Sure. He signed up for this by dating you. How long could he conceivably avoid having his parenting style critiqued by the woman in his life? Criticize him constantly, and let your observations be incredibly detailed, and accompanied by pejoratives such as “dummy” and “quote unquote Dad.” This will end well.

I recommend a subtler approach, one that involves highlighting passages in parenting books and leaving webpages up on his computer.

Illustrations by Mia Nguyen. Access This Recording's mobile site at thisrecording.wordpress.com.

References (9)

References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
  • Response
    Response: sexting
    In Which We Trust The Bear But Not The
  • Response
    In Which We Trust The Bear But Not The
  • Response
    Response: Iamsport.org
    In Which We Trust The Bear But Not The
  • Response
    Response: car insurance
    In Which We Trust The Bear But Not The
  • Response
    In Which We Trust The Bear But Not The
  • Response
    Response: Gay Porn
    In Which We Trust The Bear But Not The
  • Response
  • Response
    Response: affiliate Products
    In Which We Trust The Bear But Not The
  • Response
    Response: فنادق جده
    In Which We Trust The Bear But Not The

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
All HTML will be escaped. Hyperlinks will be created for URLs automatically.