Video of the Day


Alex Carnevale

Features Editor
Mia Nguyen

Reviews Editor
Ethan Peterson

This Recording

is dedicated to the enjoyment of audio and visual stimuli. Please visit our archives where we have uncovered the true importance of nearly everything. Should you want to reach us, e-mail alex dot carnevale at gmail dot com, but don't tell the spam robots. Consider contacting us if you wish to use This Recording in your classroom or club setting. We have given several talks at local Rotarys that we feel went really well.

Pretty used to being with Gwyneth

Regrets that her mother did not smoke

Frank in all directions

Jean Cocteau and Jean Marais

Simply cannot go back to them

Roll your eyes at Samuel Beckett

John Gregory Dunne and Joan Didion

Metaphors with eyes

Life of Mary MacLane

Circle what it is you want

Not really talking about women, just Diane

Felicity's disguise

Live and Active Affiliates
This area does not yet contain any content.

« In Which We Celebrate Ourselves Indefinitely »

Hard to Say is This Recording’s weekly advice column. It will appear every Wednesday until the Earth perishes in a fiery blaze, or until North West turns 40. Get no-nonsense answers to all of your most pressing questions by writing to justhardtosay@gmail.com.


I have been married to my wife Julia for over four years and we have a daughter together. I love her very much and although things have not always been perfect, I believed our marriage was solid. Recently my wife has been confiding various doubts she has about our relationship. Many of her problems relate to where she is in her career — she feels like having a family has hampered her ability to improve her standing in her field. (I work full-time, and she hasn't been able to do so yet, although our daughter will soon be entering school, making this more possible.)

In addition, in her current position, her co-workers are eight to ten years younger than her and she has been interacting with them a lot, leaving me at home.

I want to be supportive of Julia, but at the same time I feel like I am a very giving husband and challenges in life are just part of what's going on. I am there for her, but I don't want to feel like I am catering to a delusion, and it brings me down to hear her complaining about her life. What can I do to get her out of this funk?

Reynald C.


It sounds like your wife needs to meet friends of an appropriate age. Having these younger people around, who have different priorities and goals is going to put her in their mindset. I would do anything you could to get her a better job, or send her back to school. Changing her path in this area sounds key. It is easy to think you are a good husband, and I'm sure you are doing what you can to improve your wife's situation at home.

Still, counseling is a good way to make sure of this. If your wife is not in therapy, she should be. There are inexpensive, or at least more inexpensive options for mental health treatment.

Lastly, we all go through phases in life, and your wife may be in one right now. Try not to overreact to anything (or everything) she does. Operating with a certain amount of space may be the best thing for her.


I have been dating a guy for a few months. He has said that he is very serious about our future together, and I take him at his work. I haven't clicked with someone like this for a long time, if ever.

One thing that does trouble me is that we seem to come from very different religious backgrounds, and he has made a point of saying he expects his children to be raised in his faith. (His family is Jewish.) I am more of an agnostic, but I don't know if I would be comfortable suddenly becoming religious. How should I approach this?

Amy D.

Dear Amy,

There is a large divergence in the Jewish community about exactly what being religious means to an individual. It is impossible to say what this really means: it could mean more casual observance, but the obeyance of certain rituals and traditions. It could mean that he plans to move you to Brooklyn and your family will never see you in shorts again. It is probably best to clarify his exact intentions.

Some people insist on these traditions because they want to please your family. If you are deeply against taking your life in this direction, it is not something to gloss over. There are some wonderful things about religion, but by and large fashion is not one of them.

Illustrations by Mia Nguyen.

References (2)

References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
  • Response
    Response: Jesse Grillo
    I found a great...
  • Response
    I found a great...

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
All HTML will be escaped. Hyperlinks will be created for URLs automatically.